


In it for the Long Haul

by willingwinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cas is there to help him with that, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, M/M, Sam Has an Eating Disorder, Sam has weird ideas about food, i'm new at this so be nice, my first sastiel fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6072385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willingwinchester/pseuds/willingwinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam has issues with food, skipping meals and limiting his calories to salads when he does eat. Cas has moved into the bunker recently and had started to notice that Sam's behavior around food isn't healthy or normal. Cas tries to help Sam as best he can. </p><p>Based on this prompt from tumblr: "Prompt, maybe?!? depending on your stance on it, what would you think of writing a ficlet about sam with some super not healthy ideas about food and castiel being way out of his depth with it? sassy owies...??"</p>
            </blockquote>





	In it for the Long Haul

**Author's Note:**

> This is a complete work of fiction, I have no experience with eating disorders in real life so I'm sorry for any inaccuracies.

Sam always had problems with food. He usually made excuses about being busy doing homework, studying for an exam, and then later just hunting. Sometimes there just wasn’t time to eat or he just forgot. That’s what it used to be anyway. 

After Stanford, it slowly morphed into something more. Suddenly, when he wasn’t skipping meals, he never ordered cheeseburgers or any of the diner food he grew up on, now it was all salads and vegetables. He was on the move so much anyway, what was only eating salad or a few skipped meals to the impending apocylapse. So if he noticed his stomach aching for more food, well he would just deal with it later. Besides, Dean was always the one who loved food and Sam just wasn’t like that. 

It didn’t really become something Sam recognized until they moved into the bunker and had a stable place to stay. Sam was still skipping meals and not eating as much as he should, but the excuses changed. He reasoned that skipping one meal wasn’t that bad and that he didn’t need the calories anyway, now that he wasn’t working out so much. Sam started to worry that one day Dean would realize what was going on. Slowly Sam started hiding his eating patterns more, everything surrounding food became a secret. 

Then, Cas was human and moved into the bunker full time. Sam and Cas started hanging out more and it got harder for Sam to excuse eating a salad two meals a day, when Cas and him were eating together regularly and Cas started to notice that something wasn’t right. 

With his little human experience, Cas knew that Sam couldn’t survive off what he was doing and stay healthy or even be healthy currently. He realized that Sam turning down dessert, even on special occasions, and only eating when Cas proposed they eat together wasn’t normal, and, after consulting the internet, he knew he had to help Sam.

The next time Sam turned down the food Dean had cooked for the three of them, deciding to stick with a small side salad, Cas knew it was time to say something. As Dean left the dining room to put away the food, Cas knew this was his chance.

“Sam, I’ve been noticing you aren’t eating nearly the amount of calories needed for a man of your stature. What I want to say is that I’m worried about you and I’m here to help you eat right and get healthy.” 

Cas wasn’t quite sure if he got his point across exactly how he wanted. He knew Dean teased him about not putting enough emotion into his actions but he truly cares about Sam and he was really worried. 

“What, Cas? What do you mean? Sure, maybe I don’t eat as many burgers and junk as Dean but I’m not unhealthy… I mean… Okay maybe I skip meals sometimes but everyone does that sometimes. I mean look at me? I’m fine. I don’t need any help.” Sam replied, trying to reason with both himself and Cas.

“Sam. You have issues with food. You can’t even have dessert every once in a while without freaking out. And as we’ve grown closer I’ve noticed your issues with food even more. Iit’s not about how you look healthy, it’s about what your body needs. Right now your body isn’t getting enough nutrition from just salads, coffee and skipping meals. I love you, Sam, and I’m here to help.”

“You love me?” Sam gasped. That’s the only thing he could grasp on to without freaking out that he’d been found out, after years of hiding, it was Cas who discovered his secret. 

“But…You’re an angel… Cas, you’re an angel and I’m just me, “the boy with the demon blood” that’s what you said. And now you say you love me… No I love you but you can’t love me back, I’m too broken, too unclean.”

“No, Sam. You are worthy. When I raised you from the cage, you had experienced so much pain, so much torture, and still your soul shown brighter than any soul I’ve seen. I love you, Sam Winchester, and needing help does not make you weak, it makes you human. You’ve been through more pain than most men go through in three life times, let alone one. So I am here for you and I love you and if I have to eat every meal with you for the rest of my life I will because I’m in it for the long haul. You’re carrying a weight on your shoulders and I’m here to help you carry that weight. I’m here for you.”

Cas was the first person in a long time, besides Dean, who had decided to carry the weight of Sam’s problems. He saw Sam’s soul and still he stayed, he knew Sam’s secret and still Cas said he loved Sam and would stay. 

“Okay. Okay, Cas. I do need help, but I don’t know how to fix this, I don’t know how to be healthy and normal” Sam responded, relieved to have some weight lifted off his shoulders.

“That’s why I’m here for you, and Dean too. We’re here to help you.”

And things weren’t perfect but Sam knew that he couldn’t go on holding everything in. Getting healthy would be hard but Cas was in it for the long haul and Sam had support in both his brother and Cas and he could do this, for them. For a future with Cas, someone who loved him for all his mistakes and saw him as something more, someone who loved him for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: willingwinchester


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